Tuesday, 1 June 2010

Making The Right Decision

Elections and voting have never raised such feverish action in Malaysia.

With the heat that Pakatan Rakyat is giving Barisan Nasional, drastic campaigning is required on the part of BN to retain its voters.

Since BN does next to nothing in improving the life of the average Malaysian, the best strategy to win votes is by cheating: buying votes.

And that's how these four Methodist churches in Sibu came under the microscope when they miraculously received special grants on the eve of polling day.

Some feel that it is taxpayer money and should be returned. Others feel that as taxpayers, those Methodists should be entitled to keep that money.

So who does the money rightfully belong to?

Or are those questions to be saved for Judgement Day, when it's time to go to heaven or hell?

Speaking of elections and campaigning, let me leave you with a story:

While walking down the street one day a Malaysia Boleh Minister is tragically hit by a truck and dies. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.

"Welcome to heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a politician around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you."

"No problem, just let me in," says the man.

"Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity."

"Really, I have made up my mind," says the Yang Berhormat, "I want to be in heaven."

"I'm sorry, but we have our rules," says St. Peter. And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell.

The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him.

Everyone is very happy and dressed in the finest batik there is. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people.

They play a friendly game of golf and then indulge themselves on satay, rendang and the most expensive food there is.

Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time that before he realizes it, it is time to go.

Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises. The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens in heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him. "Now it's time to visit heaven," he announces.

So, 24 hours pass with the Yang Berhormat joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by.

St. Peter returns saying, "Well, then, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose your eternity."

The Yang Berhormat reflects for a minute, then he answers, "Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I'll be better off in hell."

So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell. Now the doors of the elevator open and he's in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage.

He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above. The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder.

"I don't understand," stammers the Yang Berhormat. "Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate satay and rendang, drank sirap bandung, and danced and had a great time.. Now there's just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?"

The devil looks at him, smiles and says, "Yesterday we were campaigning.... Today you voted."


Antares said...

Have heard this one before but, Cranky, you retell it with such oomph!

shar101 said...

Just wondering .. Crank

Did any BN errrmm .. UMNO Baru friendly mosque officials receive such funds as well during the past few by-elections and if they did, wouldn't the same predicament be applicable?

Leaving it to God to decide whether one did right or wrong would defeat the essential purpose why one is on Earth in the first place, wouldn't it?

Ok, that's a loaded Q.

Eyes Wide Open said...

There are many arguments for and against the keeping of the money. But I think the first question that needs to be answered should be:

"Was the government's 'special grant' meant to be an enticement to soften Christian voters?"

In other words, was it a bribe?

So far, NO ONE has disputed that it IS a bribe...not even those who support keeping the money. The arguments have always only been about whether the money should have been accepted or not.

Establish the answer to this question, and the path to follow after that will be clear...

There's a facebook campaign appealling to the churches not to keep the money. Please spread the word. Thanks!

Pat said...

The bribe was given with my money. There is no such thing as 'government' money. All the money it has is mine - derived from my tolls, taxes, etc. And I didn't 'authorise' this gift.

Having said that, and given the way it was given, isn't it somewhat tainted? How are the churches justifying their keeping it? I'd love to hear that parleyed away!

And about your joke: It has a fatal flaw: the Yang Berhormat spoke perfect English! Where can, wan???!

Crankster said...

Antares - thanks. I do know how to spin a yarn, m'boy. ;-)

Shar - I'm sure mosque officials have been receiving plenty of bribes too. The same response should be applicable, but ...

Yes, it was meant to be a loaded question.

EWO - you make perfect sense. Because it is a bribe, it is thus dirty money and the churches should have no part in it.

If they spent more time ensuring their congregations were registered voters, the government wouldn't have the temerity to bribe a church!! What an insult!!

Pat - exactly, it's tainted.

As for my joke, I can only say that the politician in question attended international schools and then subsequently Oxford (on tax payer scholarships) and thus, he speaks some semblance of English.