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Thursday, 1 March 2012

Lite Break

1. One midnight, Najib had a tiff with Rosmah. Annoyed, he set off alone for supper. On the way, he bumped into a robber.

"Give me all your money!!" the robber demanded.

Najib was very angry, "How dare you? I am the honourable Prime Minister!"

The robber said, "Well, then ... return all my money."

************

2. One fine day, Najib, Muhyiddin and some MPs were on the way to a meeting when they all got into an accident and were rushed to the hospital.

The reporters were waiting at the hospital waiting room, when the doctor came out and shook his head, "We have done our best to rescue the PM but ..."

The reporters asked, "How about Muhyiddin?"

The doctor replied quietly, "We were unable to rescue him either ..."

"Then who have you saved?" the reporters wanted to know.

The doctor exclaimed, "Malaysia!!!!"

************

3. Samy Vellu visited the psychiatric hospital. All the patients cheered and clapped for him but there was one patient who ignored Samy.

Samy: Why does he not welcome me?

Doctor: He is now normal and waiting to be discharged today.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

TQ!

Antares said...

Hee hee hee.

Joshua Lopez said...

ROTFL!!!

walla said...

Great Truths Malaysia-styled

1. In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm and three or more is the Malaysian Parliament.

2. If you don't read the newspaper you are uninformed, if you do read the newspaper you are misinformed.

3. Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Parliament. But then I repeat myself.

4. I contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle.

This is otherwise known as 1Malaysia Boleh.

5. A government which robs A to pay B can always depend on the support of B.

6. A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, which debt he proposes to pay off with your money.

7. Democracy in Malaysia must be something more than two wolves and a sheep voting on what to have for dinner.

8. Foreign aid might be defined as a transfer of money from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries.

9. Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.

10. Government is the great fiction, through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else.

11. Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.

12. I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.

13. If you think healthcare is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free!

14. In general, the art of government consists of taking as much money as possible from one party of the citizens to give to the other (after pocketing most of it).

15. Just because you do not take an interest in politics doesn't mean politics won't take an interest in you!

16. No man's life, liberty, or property is safe while either the Malaysian Parliament or the Malaysian Court is in session.

17. Talk is cheap...except when Parliament does it.

18. The Malaysian government is like a baby's alimentary canal, with a happy appetite at one end and no responsibility at the other.

19. The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of the blessings. The inherent blessing of socialism is the equal sharing of misery.

20. The only difference between a taxman and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin.

21. The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly is to fill the world with fools.

22. There is no distinctly Malaysian criminal class...save the Malaysian Parliament.

23. What this country needs are more unemployed politicians.

24. A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have.

25. We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office.

FIVE BEST SENTENCES

1. You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity by legislating the wealth out of prosperity.

2. What one person receives without working for...another person must work for without receiving.

3. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else.

4. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it.

5. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work, because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work, because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that is the beginning of the end of any nation!

(credit accorded)

Joshua Lopez said...

Cranky,

A 70 page judgement on Altantuya's Murder has just been released.

The Judge is of the opinion that She caused her own Murder!!!

http://my.news.yahoo.com/altantuya-murder-courts-70-page-judgment-003630373.html

Anonymous said...

...NO need motive to kill one ...saja sukahati !

Crankster said...

To put away the two military commandos with no motive behind it is suspect enough for me.