Press Freedom Around The World

Malaysia is in a "difficult situation".

Go here for the original from Journaliste Sans Frontier which allows you to zoom in up close.

And what's the verdict on Malaysia? Go HERE.

"Allah, Minions and Fried Bananas"

I found this online and it was too good not to share.

By Brian Gomez*

It is not often that you will find me defending The Church.

My own brief dalliance with Christianity came to an abrupt end when, at the age of 12, I was instructed to "throw away those metallic (sic) tapes. They promote evil". Even though Def Leppard can hardly be considered Metal and the most evil thing they ever promoted was hairspray.

But I find myself drawn to defending The Church on this occasion simply because they clearly haven't done what they've been accused of doing, which is using the word Allah for proselytisation purposes.

Before we get into that, however, let's be clear about something:

I hate proselytisation. For one thing, it's damn hard to spell.

More importantly, the people who proselytise are often annoying nitwits - the Christians who interrupt your meal with their "Hello there, have you accepted Christ into your life?" and the Muslims with their "Wah! Pandai cakap Melayu ah! Kenapa tak masuk Islam?"

But my own hatred for proselytisation aside, I do believe that everyone should have the right to proselytise. Muslims should have the right to proselytise to Christians. Christians should have the right to proselytise to Muslims. And Other People should have the right to punch proselytisers in the face if they can't take a hint when you politely tell them to fuckoff. But enough about my own feelings about proselytisation. Because I'm sick of typing the word. Geez, what an asshole of a word.

So.

With that out of the way:

Let us now, you and I, Malaysia, take time out from worrying about how the heck we're going to pay the bills, and devote substantial brain-time to the important questions surrounding this Allah Issue.

Here we go:

1) Are Christians using the word Allah to confuse Muslims with the aim of converting them into Christianity?

I'm going to go with a No on this one.

It seems to me that that would be a very strange and unproductive tactic. I'd be more worried about the other evil things Christians are supposedly doing to convert Muslims, such as offering them food and shelter. Also, if Christians are indeed using this tactic, how the hell would they justify that to their god:

"Dear God,

today I converted a Muslim into Christianity! I hope you're proud of me. Just one thing though: He doesn't really know you're the Christian Allah. He thinks you're the Muslim Allah. I confused him. Ha ha! But whatever. A convert's a convert, what. Right? Anyway, if he prays to you, just pretend you're the Muslim Allah. He'll be none the wiser.

Amen."


2) Has anyone, ever, in the history of the Universe, converted into Christianity because they were confused by which Allah is which?

Again, I'm going to have to say No.

Christians in Malaysia have been using Allah for 300 years (or something. I'm too lazy to look it up). In all that time, there has not been one documented case of a Muslim converting to Christianity out of confusion. That means, between the year 1714 to 1814 - not one case. Between 1814 to 1914 - nada. Between 1914 to 2014 - zip.

So what we have here, is basically a Preventive Law, that assumes people will get confused sometime in the future, say, I dunno, in the year 2114, when presumably human beings will be way more stupid than they were in 1714.

At least you can't accuse the government of not being proactive.

3) Speaking of the government, does the Kementerian Dalam Negeri know that Sabah and Sarawak are also terkandung "Dalam Negeri"?

I'm going with No again.

Sabah and Sarawak are part of Malaysia. As are Johor, Selangor, Kelantan yadda yadda yadda. I cannot, personally, vouch for Perlis. Because let's face it, no one knows a damn thing about Perlis. They might have secretly seceded for all anyone knows. But enough about Perlis. We're talking about Sabah and Sarawak. Specifically, Sabahans and Sarawakians.

Don't look now, but some of them are ... here!
That's right. Right here in West Malaysia.
They could be sitting next to you as you're reading this, secretly judging you. You would have no way of knowing. They blend right in, the sneaky fuckers.
They're in our offices. Our apartment buildings. In our Mamaks.

And in our churches.

If my memory serves me right, church services in BM started in the 80s to cater to the Sabahans and Sarawakians (and Indians who didn't speak English but were too few in numbers to justify having a Tamil service). And those East Malaysian Christians called their god Allah. And so the churches here used Allah as well because you can't expect people from your own country, who called god Allah all this while, to suddenly start calling him, I don't know, Fred or something.

But the government, apparently, expects exactly this. How would that even work? Should there be in-flight announcements?

Ladies and Gentlemen, we have now entered East Malaysian airspace. The No-Allah sign has been turned off. Feel free to no longer be stupid.

4) Should there be a compromise?

No.

I have read opinion pieces by well-meaning people who have said that there should be a compromise on both sides. This is great and all kumbaya and all, but the opinion pieces failed to say what that compromise should be. Christians use Allah from Sunday to Wednesday, and Muslims from Thursday to Saturday?

These opinion pieces also asked Christians to give in and emulate Jesus by "turning the other cheek".

Listen. I've never met Jesus. From what I've heard, he was a patient guy.
But, if someone had told Jesus "Yo, Jesus. My dad's name is Jesus too. And I'm all confused and shit. And emotional, man. This shit's emotional. What if I called "Jesus!" and I meant to call my dad but then you show up instead and I get confused and think you're my dad (he's a long-haired Caucasian too). What then, huh? What what what? You gotta change your name, man. Or at least only use it when you're not in the vicinity."

Now, if someone had told Jesus that, I'm pretty sure Jesus would have told him to Go Forth And Fucketh Thyself.

But like I said. I never knew the man.

5) So how did this whole mess start? Is the government stupid or what?

It appears so. This whole mess started when the government conducted an in-depth study, the results of which are contained in a detailed report. Here is an excerpt:

Kajian terperinci telah dijalankan oleh Kementerian Dalam Negeri (Bahagian Kajian Terperinci) dan hasil daripada kajian ini menunjukkan bahawa penggunaan Kalimah Allah oleh orang Kristian bakal mengelirukan umat Islam, seterusnya menyebabkan mereka terpesong akidah dan memeluk agama Kristian. Satu fokusgrup telah diadakan di Bilik Mawar di mana 10 peserta beragama Islam telah didedahkan kepada kedua-dua Allah. Didapati 6 daripada mereka memilih Allah yang salah. Tiga peserta lagi didapati mengalami gangguan emosi sampai mengamuk dan membaling-baling cekodok.

I'm kidding, of course! The government doesn't do in-depth studies! About anything! They just do whatever the fuck they want without thinking about either the causes or consequences! Ha ha!

Ha.



Ha.

6) Stop kidding la. How did this whole mess start? Seriously.

Okay-okay. Serious:

Our Mess begins, as all Messes do, with a Minion. The Minion receives a copy of The Herald. He sees the word Allah. He is bewildered.

"Ini tak boleh, ni," he says. "Eh takboleh-takboleh-takboleh. Ish ish ish ish ish ish. Takboleh-takboleh-takboleh."

He shakes his head.

He allows himself one more tak boleh.

He has The Chop.

Our Minion chops TIDAK DILULUSKAN on the paper and goes out for tea (it is 2pm). As he eats his Goreng Pisang, his mind is blissfully unaware of the shitstorm he is about to cause, preferring instead to occupy itself with more important thoughts, like Why Is It Called Goreng-Pisang and Not Pisang-Goreng?

He doesn't know that later, The Minister will seize the opportunity and use this to present himself as The Champion of the Malays and Islam in the eyes of the PAU delegates. He doesn't know that The Prime Minister will use this to present himself as the same in the eyes of the voters. He doesn't know that churches will be set on fire, and mosques desecrated.

No. Our Minion doesn't know anything.

Even though he has The Chop.


7) Are you making this up even though it's probably exactly what happened?

Yes. But if the government can just make shit up, then so can I. Fair's fair.


8) Actually, why the hell is it called Goreng Pisang and not Pisang Goreng?

Actually, I also dono. Grammatically, it should be Pisang Goreng. But I grew up calling it Goreng Pisang. Where I come from, we've called it Goreng Pisang for godknows how long. So that's what I call it. And will continue calling it.

And if anyone tells me otherwise, I will tell them to Go Forth and Fucketh Thyself.

* I've been told by my mate Antares that Brian Gomez wrote this piece. Brian, says Antares, is among the most brilliant young novelists, singer-songwriters & anecdotalists on the scene. Should you feel the compulsion to stalk him, he can be found at Merdekarya in Jalan Gasing. I'm not supplying any GPS coordinates (anyway they purportedly lead you to Sungai Buloh) but there's an address and directions on the website. Also go to the Facebook page, there's Free Kangkung this coming Friday.

No Free Lunch

No free lunch; we've gotta pay either toll or tax, Najib says.

Which is really ironic because we're also paying for him (and also his wife's diamonds and step-son's fancy apartment in New York) to drive around in his fancy new ride.

And of course, he's been jetting around in a luxurious new plane. An airplane!!

An Airbus ACJ320 leased from Comlux Aviation. That, my good Malaysian friends is not a cheap thing. Bearing in mind that it has been refurbished for a very luxurious flying experience, not what you experience on your AirAsia flight.

While you sit in your cattle class seat with your legs cramping from lack of space, you're paying for good ole Najib to flex his legs about and have a very pleasant flight. And I haven't gotten started on the fuel yet.

No free lunch, Najib says. For you and me, that is.

For him, it's all free.

"More Political Than Religious"

I just came across an article that corroborates what I've said in a previous post, Losing Focus And Getting Distracted. An excerpt:

The fact that certain Malay groups, including a number of Umno members are actually lauding Jais for their action and calling for more tough measures adds fuel to the political theory. These groups are also questioning Pas and Parti Keadilan Rakyat (PKR) for not supporting the ''cause''.

Also, our deputy prime minister, who is also the Umno deputy president seems to be in agreement with this group's plan to protest in front of churches in Selangor this Sunday as they were allegedly ''acting in accordance with a royal decree banning the usage of the word "Allah" by non-Muslims in the state.

Could this be Umno's way of trying to gain lost ground in Selangor. A big no if you were to ask any of them. The reply you would probably get is that they were defending Islam and this has nothing to do with politics.

To DAP's Hannah Yeoh the Jais raid was a "clever diversion" as "the authorities don’t have to worry about explaining the strong turn out at TURUN as the media focuses on the raid".

TURUN as we know is the anti-price hike movement's protest demanding the government to lower the cost of living, held on new year’s eve at Dataran Merdeka.

Read the rest: "More Political Than Religious"

"The Greatest Stumbling Block Is The Moderate"

Martin Luther King wrote an open letter to his critics when he was locked up in Birmingham jail, Alabama, USA for pickets and demonstrations against racism and inequality. Here is a brief excerpt:

I must make two honest confessions to you, my Christian and Jewish brothers. First, I must confess that over the past few years I have been gravely disappointed with the white moderate. I have almost reached the regrettable conclusion that the Negro's great stumbling block in his stride toward freedom is not the White Citizen's Counciler or the Ku Klux Klanner, but the white moderate, who is more devoted to "order" than to justice; who prefers a negative peace which is the absence of tension to a positive peace which is the presence of justice; who constantly says: "I agree with you in the goal you seek, but I cannot agree with your methods of direct action"; who paternalistically believes he can set the timetable for another man's freedom; who lives by a mythical concept of time and who constantly advises the Negro to wait for a "more convenient season." Shallow understanding from people of good will is more frustrating than absolute misunderstanding from people of ill will. Lukewarm acceptance is much more bewildering than outright rejection.

I had hoped that the white moderate would understand that law and order exist for the purpose of establishing justice and that when they fan in this purpose they become the dangerously structured dams that block the flow of social progress. I had hoped that the white moderate would understand that the present tension in the South is a necessary phase of the transition from an obnoxious negative peace, in which the Negro passively accepted his unjust plight, to a substantive and positive peace, in which all men will respect the dignity and worth of human personality. Actually, we who engage in nonviolent direct action are not the creators of tension. We merely bring to the surface the hidden tension that is already alive. We bring it out in the open, where it can be seen and dealt with. Like a boil that can never be cured so long as it is covered up but must be opened with an its ugliness to the natural medicines of air and light, injustice must be exposed, with all the tension its exposure creates, to the light of human conscience and the air of national opinion before it can be cured.

In your statement you assert that our actions, even though peaceful, must be condemned because they precipitate violence. But is this a logical assertion? Isn't this like condemning a robbed man because his possession of money precipitated the evil act of robbery? Isn't this like condemning Socrates because his unswerving commitment to truth and his philosophical inquiries precipitated the act by the misguided populace in which they made him drink hemlock? Isn't this like condemning Jesus because his unique God-consciousness and never-ceasing devotion to God's will precipitated the evil act of crucifixion? We must come to see that, as the federal courts have consistently affirmed, it is wrong to urge an individual to cease his efforts to gain his basic constitutional rights because the quest may precipitate violence. Society must protect the robbed and punish the robber.

I was struck by the logic that MLK puts forth. I marvel that he manages to articulate in words what I grapple with in thoughts.

The problem with this world in general, and our country, in particular, is that we want to be "moderate" even at the expense of evil and injustice.

Like the slaves, we passively accept our unjust plight. We allow UMNO leaders to do as they may, spend our money at their will, and then make us pay for it.

As MLK says, law and order exist for the purpose of establishing justice. When that crumbles, fellow Malaysians, the laws -- the Peaceful Assembly, the Internal Security Act, and the rest of them that only curb our freedom -- become useless and even dangerous.

This is when you and I need to become the law-makers. For even blogger and social activist Haris Ibrahim has a quote on his site that goes:

We are here, not because we are law-breakers; we are here in our efforts to become law-makers
– Emmeline Pankhurst

There is equality in the United States today only because MLK and his fellow activists in the Civil Rights Movement had the gumption and perseverance to stand up for themselves and say, "Enough."

Related: LETTER FROM BIRMINGHAM JAIL, April 16, 1963

Losing Focus And Getting Distracted

It's not easy being Malaysian these days. The economy was never very good to start with, and now the government is implementing GST and reducing the fuel subsidy.

The government sure knows how to kick a man when he's down and out. The increase in the fuel price will only cause everything to also increase in price. And the goods and service tax will mean no one can afford to spend anymore.

Bearing in mind that the main reason the country is low in its finances is because BN went on a spending rampage to bribe, bring in illegals to vote for them, and basically cheat their way back into power. We are paying for that now.

To add salt to injury, the government is timing the racial and religious conflicts to distract the bulk of the citizens from the real issue at hand: incompetence, corruption and just poor management/spending.

So it's hardly any surprise that people are asking, "Where is the Prime Minister?" but he is conspicuously silent.

He has orchestrated the whole fiasco; does anyone really think the village idiots claiming to be a garden variety of Islamic organisations are genuinely upholding the best interests of Islam?

Muslims: We will demonstrate! Don't play with fire! We will strike down anyone who comes in our way! Apologise!!
Christians: We will pray for you.

It just makes Muslims look very, very bad.

Of course, you're now going to remind me that there were Muslims who came out in solidarity with the Christians.

Fair play. They have redeemed their religion and their reputation, but the fact remains that the religious posturing by the extremists (or rather those paid to act in such a way) is going to go on for as long as it takes to get people's mind off the real issues.

Real issues like the economy.

Leadership Workshop

Now this is non-political a post as it gets but I thought I'd get the word out.

It's for Malaysian young professionals, leaders, students and forward-thinking Malaysians, aged between 20-45 years old; to have the opportunity to learn from Harvard-trained workshop facilitators and local leaders.

For more details, go to Facebook

Greed In Malaysia And America

Unlike what most of Malaysia thinks, this is old news.

Najib Razak's step-son had bought this apartment at least a year ago. Obviously, like his dear mother, he had saved up all his life and bought it. That family ought to give financial tips on how to save money.

Or maybe not.

They could certainly give tips on how to spend it.

Interestingly, I suspect the news got out because of the film that was released in the US on Christmas Day. "The Wolf of Wall Street".

Yes, it was produced by Najib's step-son's company.

Interestingly, it bears a striking resemblance to the issue at hand. Of stealing. Of spending money that doesn't belong to you.

Because that is precisely what this movie glorifies, and exactly what the main character in this movie does. Jordan Belfort is his name and his greed and lack of integrity is part of the reason why America was brought down to its knees.

This is a very interesting open letter to the director and main star of the film by Christina, the daughter of one of Jordan Belfort's accomplices/associates named Tom Prousalis.

It is very apt and describes what greed could do to men, be they American or Malaysian.

Read The Sarawak Report for more information on this topic.

On The Subject Of Paying Tax

Who are the true patriots?

Wise words from Zaid Ibrahim.

This is in response to the Prime Minister who first brought up the topic of patriotism HERE:

KUALA LUMPUR: Tax evasion is a treasonous act as it tantamounts to deterring the country’s development, says Prime Minister Datuk Seri Najib Razak today.

Instead, Najib described paying taxes as patriotic since an increased government revenue would be used for infrastructural growth, for example.

Except government revenue hasn't been used for infrastructural growth. It's been used for bribing constituents into voting for BN in Sabah and Sarawak. It's been used to ferry plane loads of Bangladeshis into the country.

With such treasonous acts, he is in no position to talk about patriotism.

KL Property Assessment Rates

I heard the first rumblings of dissatisfaction on Facebook about a month ago. Friends were aghast that their assessments had suddenly spiked with no warning at all.

It is natural that property prices would go up, especially at the prime areas of Kuala Lumpur, which is a vibrant and attractive city.

But there is no legitimate reason why it should have increased by such a high percentage -- more than 100% in some cases! Also, not all KL property is posh and new.

No bones about it, the federal government is out to tax the citizens of Kuala Lumpur for what it's worth. Bear in mind, the majority of KL voted for the Opposition, and not for BN, knowing how corrupted and worthless BN is.

This is the best way that BN can punish the urban voters -- by hitting at their pockets.

Apart from stupid remarks from ministers like, "Take it positively that your property value is higher", little else has been done. Boring, insignificant and irrelevant anecdotes like a minister's wife owning a penthouse and other properties in and around KL and having to pay for it has been bandied about.

I couldn't care less about a BN minister (or his wife), and neither can most KL citizens.

So 11 MPs were tasked with sorting out the issue with the federal government.

But this is how sneaky the government is: they made the MPs sign into the official secrets act, which means divulging any information regarding this fiasco to the public would make it a criminal offence.

So we're back to square one here.

The question is: will people submit to the bullying tactics of the BN government and choose to vote them in at the next General Elections (like East Malaysians perpetually do), or will people stand up and fight back?

What are the people of KL really like?