Washington Post On Anwar And Democracy In Malaysia

An editorial opinion by the Washington Post on Anwar Ibrahim's ludicrous case.

ON MONDAY a struggle over human rights and democracy will come to a head in an important Muslim country.

The site is not Egypt or Turkey but Malaysia, a country of 28 million that, as it has prospered economically, has grown an opposition movement that is pressing an authoritarian regime to share power.

The opposition’s leader is Anwar Ibrahim, whose multiethnic alliance shocked the ruling party in several state elections in 2008 and who has a chance to oust Prime Minister Najib Razak in national elections expected in the next few months, if the vote is free and fair.

All that explains why on Monday Mr. Anwar will find himself not on the campaign trail but in a courtroom, where he is likely to be given a lengthy prison sentence. The charge is homosexual sodomy, which Malaysia shamefully still treats as a crime.

Read the rest online: A ‘test’ of democracy Malaysia might fail

Malaysia: The Country With A One-track Mind

Sex scandals obsess Malaysia: the country with a one-track mind

Some days its media can talk of little else

By Sholto Byrnes

Sunday, 24 April 2011

Anwar Ibrahim, Malaysia's opposition leader, tomorrow faces the resumption of one of the less edifying cases to have been heard amid the colonnaded formality of the Kuala Lumpur High Court: his trial for allegedly sodomising a 25-year-old aide named Saiful Bukhari.

It is not the only scandal with which the former deputy prime minister, whose dismissal and first trial for sodomy made world headlines more than a decade ago, is dealing.

The man once feted as Newsweek's "Asian of the Year", whose supporters include Al Gore, the former US vice-president, and Paul Wolfowitz, a former World Bank president, is also accused of being the star of a 21-minute sex tape featuring a Chinese prostitute (by way of variation, female), a clip of which was briefly posted on YouTube.

But these are only two instances of the sexually related incidents that fill the country's papers and gossip sites every day. So numerous are stories of physical misdemeanours in this conservative, Muslim-majority but essentially easygoing country that the question is being asked: are Malaysians obsessed with sex?

Within the past few days, it has emerged that the education department in the eastern state of Terengganu has set up a boot camp to which it has sent 66 schoolboys to deal with their "effeminate tendencies".

"The severity of the symptoms vary. We understand that some people end up as homosexual," said the department's director, Razali Daud, "but we will do our best to limit the number. If left unchecked, it could become a problem for them, their families and society."

Earlier this month, a well-known MP, Ibrahim Ali, the leader of the Malay rights group Perkasa, asked in parliament if wives truly "understand their roles". "Husbands driving home after work see things that are sexually arousing and seek their wives to satisfy their urges," he said, complaining that sometimes women pretend to be busy with other matters. "They will say, 'wait, I'm cooking,' or 'wait, I'm getting ready to visit relatives'." They evidently required a "proper explanation" that "in Islam, wives are supposed to stop everything to fulfil their husbands' demands."

Although now an independent, Ibrahim was once a luminary in the governing Barisan Nasional alliance, which cannot appear too overbearing in matters of personal morality given that it includes non-Muslim Chinese, Indian and indigenous components as well as Muslim Malays.

The Islamist opposition party PAS, however, is less constrained, as its youth leader, Nasrudin Tantawi, made clear in February. "We have identified favourite spots where lovebirds mingle," he said, warning that his organisation would be helping to check "immoral activities" in the run-up to Valentine's Day. "We are deploying our members to preach and distribute pamphlets promoting sin-free lifestyles."

The action was certainly necessary, he said. "Last year there was a campaign to promote a no-panties day."

Such remarks do not go without comment. The country's Women, Family and Community Minister, Shahrizat Abdul Jalil, has already condemned the Terengganu state government's boot camp, and Ibrahim's antediluvian views have provoked widespread condemnation.

"Ibrahim must apologise and submit himself for gender sensitivity training," said Teresa Kok, of the opposition Democratic Action Party. Nasrudin's Valentine's Day campaign, meanwhile, led to PAS's youth leader being slapped down by more senior members of his own party.

Read the rest on the web.

Sodomy, The Sequel

From The Economist:

Malaysia's opposition leader on trial

PUTTING an opposition leader on trial inevitably carries a whiff of politics. When that leader is Anwar Ibrahim, and the charge is sodomy, the same accusation used in 1998 to wreck his political career and confine him to jail for six years, the whiff becomes a stink. Mr Anwar, a former deputy prime minister, is playing a familiar role in “Sodomy II”, as the newest case is known. He is in the dock again, but in the court of public opinion it is Malaysia’s judiciary and its political masters who face the judgment of a sceptical nation.

On May 10th the defence began its cross-examination of a former aide to Mr Anwar, Saiful Bukhari. In February he testified that Mr Anwar sodomised him in a borrowed flat on June 26th 2008.

In Malaysia “carnal intercourse against the order of nature” is punishable by up to 20 years in prison, even between consenting adults.

A conviction would automatically bar Mr Anwar from politics for five years and send his parliamentary coalition into disarray.

Mr Saiful, now aged 25, is the prosecution’s star witness. Karpal Singh, the doughty chief defence lawyer and an opposition MP, began by asking about Mr Saiful’s acquaintance with the prime minister, Najib Razak. Mr Anwar’s team claims that a political conspiracy has been undertaken to discredit him. The government denies it strenuously. But the circumstances of Mr Saiful’s accusation remain murky.

Mr Saiful has told the court that he went to visit Mr Najib, then deputy prime minister, at his house on June 24th 2008—two days before the alleged incident—to talk with him about his own troubles. That an ordinary citizen should have been granted such access has stoked suspicions. On the very same day, Mr Saiful went to see a police officer who played a key role in “Sodomy I”. Later, according to Mr Saiful’s testimony, he spoke by phone with Malaysia’s senior cop. How did he get the number? asked Mr Singh. Overheard it from Mr Najib, came the rather feeble reply.

Other questions touched on the findings of the doctors who examined Mr Saiful. Two days after the alleged molestation, they found no sign of penetration. Another doctor wrote that the witness had inserted a plastic object into his backside. “Nothing wrong with your anus. Why all this fuss?” asked Mr Singh, crossly. Challenged over the medical reports, Mr Saiful protested that he could not see his own anus. The judge concurred.

Malaysians have grown used to such smut in the courtroom. Mr Anwar’s first trial featured a crusty mattress that the prosecution said was stained with his semen, proof of sodomy. Mr Anwar was released in 2004 only after it was ruled that testimony against him had been coerced. Four years later, as Mr Anwar prepared to stand for office again, with hopes of toppling a shaky government, Mr Saiful joined his campaign as a volunteer. Whatever the merits of his complaint, it is hard not to suspect a political hand at work. Mr Singh seems determined to reveal whose.

The trial has proved a distraction for Mr Anwar. His party has suffered a string of defections and lost a recent by-election. Another by-election looms in the important state of Sarawak on May 16th. The trial has forced Mr Anwar to cut short his campaigning. He has managed to keep up his foreign jaunts though, staying on the international stage, and chiding Mr Najib’s government for having hired an American lobbying firm to raise Malaysia’s profile.

In 1998, when Mr Anwar was first taken down, his supporters thronged the streets. Reactions this time have been more muted. Foreign governments took a dim view of Sodomy I; America’s vice president at the time, Al Gore, said it “mocked international standards of justice”. Twelve years ago Malaysia was teetering on the brink of financial ruin, and nervous foreign investors looked to Mr Anwar as a safer pair of hands.

Fearing a power grab, the prime minister, Mahathir Mohamad, sacked his uppity deputy and imposed capital controls. This time Malaysia’s finances are in fairly good shape and it is the rich world that is fretting over deficits. It may find less to say about Sodomy II.

Malaysia, Not Anwar, Is In The Dock

The Wall Street Journal ran an editorial beginning of this month.

Guess who responded today? Check this link to find out: Malaysia Upholds the Rule of Law

Like someone once said, if you shine a beam of light through this imbecile’s left ear, it travels unimpeded and exits through the right.

The Outcome Of The Trial

I am always impressed when the big time journos like the Washington Post sit up and pay attention to Malaysian politics.

This is no exception: Why the prosecution of Malaysia's Anwar Ibrahim matters to the West


I think this would be something you might like to read for yourself - it is probably Malaysia's most famous trial.

Consensual Or Not?

This fellow is a pretty boy, but he's very confused indeed.

So confused he goes and gets a medical examination when he knows he hasn't been sodomised.

But then, he's so confused that he cannot decide if he was "sodomised" against his will or not.

But if he claims through his confusion that it was consensual after all, how can he be traumatised by it?

Oh well. What do you expect for someone who could only muster a 1.69 grade point average after 3 semesters of university?

I was wondering if a woman could get away with something like this, let alone a man.

Let's say I had a boss who was both powerful and persuasive - and I had a crush on him. I go around with him on business trips around the world and one day ...

Okay, I'm a shy, innocent and demure young woman, so I'll let Voltaire describe what happened through his literary brilliance, Candide.

One day as Cunegonde was walking near the castle in the little wood known as "the park," she saw Dr. Pangloss in the bushes, giving a lesson in experimental physics to her mother's chambermaid, a very pretty and docile little brunette. Since Lady Cunegonde was deeply interested in the sciences, she breathlessly observed the repeated experiments that were performed before her eyes. She clearly saw the doctor's sufficient reason, and the operation of cause and effect. She then returned home, agitated and thoughtful, reflecting that she might be young Candide's sufficient reason, and he hers.

On her way back to the castle she met Candide. She blushed, and so did he. She greeted him in a faltering voice, and he spoke to her without knowing what he was saying. The next day, as they were leaving the table after dinner, Cunegonde and Candide found themselves behind a screen. She dropped her handkerchief, he picked it up; she innocently took his hand, and he innocently kissed hers with extraordinary animation, ardor and grace; their lips met, their eyes flashed, their knees trembled, their hands wandered.

Baron Thunder-ten-tronckh happened to pass by the screen; seeing this cause and effect, he drove Candide from the castle with vigorous kicks in the backside. Cunegonde fainted. The baroness slapped her as soon as she revived, and consternation reigned in the most beautiful and agreeable of all possible castles.

Right. I'm done blushing now, thanks.

Assuming this happens about 8 times with my boss (back to the story now, folks, I know you've gotten all distracted) and then I decide all of a sudden one day to cry 'rape'.

So I lodge a police report and go get a medical examination. (I don't have the benefit of an audience with any politician, in spite of the fact that my university results were not all that bad.)

Under any normal circumstances, taking into account that I am over 16 years (the age of consent), and that I have no bruises as proof of a struggle, do you think I would be able to even have my day in court??

Even as a WOMAN, I'd think my chances are slim.

But Saiful Bukhari? Well, he's special.

After Our Holier-Than-Thou Image

Political Sex Scandals Rock Modest Malaysia

By THOMAS FULLER
Published: August 4, 2008

KUALA LUMPUR, Malaysia — Government censors in this majority Muslim nation have upheld an ethos of modesty by snipping sex scenes from films and banning entertainers from wearing outfits that reveal too much on Malaysian stages; bare belly buttons and figure-hugging outfits are off limits.

But these days Malaysians looking to avoid R-rated content might be advised to steer clear of news reports about their own leaders. Two top politicians are embroiled in scandal, one accused of sodomy and the other of romantic links to a Mongolian woman gruesomely killed in 2006.

Prime Minister Abdullah Ahmad Badawi of Malaysia, right, with his deputy, Najib Razak. Mr. Najib’s name has surfaced in connection with the case of a woman who was killed in 2006.

Reports on the finer points of a rectal examination and revelations about the sexual preferences of the dead woman make other sex scandals that once shocked people here — including Monica Lewinsky and her blue dress — seem almost Victorian.

This is not the first time that sex and politics have collided in Malaysia. In the 1990s, the sodomy trial of Anwar Ibrahim, a former deputy prime minister, featured, among other highlights, a bloodstained mattress being hauled into the courtroom.

This time, wider use of the Internet has helped disseminate documents, facts and rumors that would otherwise have been filtered out of the mainstream news media that are tightly controlled by the government.

The scandals encompass much more than sex; each is a potential career-ender for a man vying to become Malaysia’s next prime minister, with control over a political patronage system that dominates the economy.

Mr. Anwar is now facing new accusations of sodomy — a crime punishable here by up to 20 years in prison — at a time when he is making strides toward unseating the governing coalition, which has run Malaysia since its independence from Britain 51 years ago. His principal political rival, Najib Razak, the deputy prime minister and anointed heir to the current prime minister, has been persistently linked to the slain Mongolian woman, despite his insistence that he never even met her. She was shot and her body obliterated with explosives in the jungle outside Kuala Lumpur.

The defendants in that case are a former political adviser to Mr. Najib and two commandos who were bodyguards for Malaysia’s top leaders.

Tampering is suspected in both cases. Testimony revealed that immigration records of the slain woman had been deleted. Witnesses have dropped from sight, including a private investigator, Balasubramaniam Perumal, who said in a sworn statement in early July that the Mongolian woman was Mr. Najib’s mistress. He retracted his allegations the next day in a hastily convened news conference, and then disappeared, along with his wife and three children. The family’s two Rottweilers were left behind in their cages.

“It’s obvious what has happened here,” said Americk Sidhu, the investigator’s lawyer. “You don’t need to be a rocket scientist. Somebody needed him to shut up.”

Mr. Balasubramaniam, who worked for the Najib adviser now on trial, Abdul Razak Baginda, spent two months writing and revising a 16-page declaration about the case, based on conversations he had with Mr. Abdul Razak and, before her death, with the woman, Altantuya Shaariibuu.

Many of the most salacious facts and rumors about both cases have been funneled into the public realm by one prolific blogger, Raja Petra Kamarudin, formerly a political associate of Mr. Anwar’s wife.

Citing sources in military intelligence, he issued a sworn declaration in June alleging that Mr. Najib’s wife was present at Ms. Altantuya’s killing. Mr. Najib called it “total lies, fabrication and total garbage” and a “desperate and pathetic attempt to discredit and taint my political image.”

Mr. Raja Petra was also responsible for leaking a medical report relating to the sodomy case against Mr. Anwar. The accuser, a 23-year-old former campaign volunteer, went to a private hospital in Kuala Lumpur hours before lodging a police report charging that Mr. Anwar had sodomized him. The medical report said he complained of a piece of plastic being inserted into his anus. The doctor who wrote the report, Mohamed Osman, said he found no active bleeding, no pus, tear or scar.

Since then, Dr. Osman also has disappeared. The hospital says he will be back on Monday.

The government has charged Mr. Raja Petra with criminal libel, invoking a law that lawyers say has not been used in recent memory in Malaysia and that, unlike civil defamation, can carry a two-year prison term. He has also been charged with sedition, and his house has been raided several times.

Mr. Anwar, who announced Thursday that he would run for Parliament in his quest to become prime minister, said in an interview that he expected to be arrested soon.

He said he had refused to give a DNA sample because he believed that it would be used against him. “There’s nothing stopping them from fabricating evidence again,” Mr. Anwar said.

Although Malaysians enthusiastically share the latest developments in both cases, some have grown tired of the graphic details.

“A good word is disgust — whether it’s sodomy or blowing up the Mongolian lady,” said the Rev. Wong Kim Kong, executive adviser of the National Evangelical Christian Fellowship, a group of Protestant churches. A narrow majority of Malaysians are Muslim, but the country has sizable Christian, Hindu, Buddhist and Sikh minorities.

Mr. Wong said the constant barrage of accusations made by bloggers, paired with the government’s steady denials, had left Malaysians pining for clarity.

“People just cannot trust the word of any of these people,” Mr. Wong said. “They cannot distinguish who is telling the truth.”

The scandals come at a time of great political uncertainty in Malaysia. The governing coalition, and the ethnic-based system of politics that it represents, is in disarray. There is simmering resentment among the majority Malays and the minority Chinese and Indians, and corruption within the government is rampant, despite promises by Prime Minister Abdullah Ahmad Badawi to clean up the system.

Mr. Anwar has vowed to remake the country’s politics and revoke the authoritarian laws that, among other things, ban students from protesting, keep the media controlled and allow the government to lock up dissidents without trial. But he remains a polarizing figure who is not trusted by many in the elite.

“I think there will at some point be a crisis of legitimacy,” said Ibrahim Suffian, the director of the Merdeka Center, a polling agency. “The leaders seem to feel that they can get away with a lot of things so long as the masses are satisfied with the economic opportunities given to them.

“But the economy is so bad that people are losing faith. There is a feeling that maybe it’s time for major changes.”

Saiful Never Got Sodomised!

He's a virgin. Bless his little black heart.



After claiming he'd been done in, what ... 8 times on different occasions, Saiful Bukhari Azlan is evidently still fresh meat. Well, sort of.

No anal penetration, and no trace of any foreign objects violating that sacred hole, which has been subject to much speculation over the past few weeks.

Looks like politicians from Barisan Nasional can find a new career as C-grade playwriters with their obvious ability to resurrect old plots and flog them to life repeatedly.

They're going to be out of a job soon, anyway.

Really, I don't know how these people pray 5 times a day. I'd be too ashamed to face my Maker.

It's Crowded In The Closet

We're a bunch of homophobes.

Stuff that. We're a bunch of pious and sanctimonious homophobes with an inordinately torrid fascination for ass-play.

Otherwise, our political scene would not be gaining this much coverage. The accusations flying back and forth wouldn't be this ridiculous.

The mattresses, apartments, Turkish embassies, Statutory Declarations (heck, did you even know what that was before every other Joe started filing one?) and private investigators have their claim to fame attributed to our curiosity.

The most efficient method of assasinating a politician's career is to subject him to a scandal like that. More so homosexuality, rather than an extramarital affair - or even corruption, for that matter.

Why is that of utmost importance? I do recall that Anwar also had a corruption charge to his name. (I presume that was Mahathir's back-up plan just in case the sodomy one didn't take).

Did he get cleared of that or does no one care, since sodomy makes for more salacious gossip? Or is it an accepted fact that all Malaysian politicians secretly have a tendency for "that sort of thing"?

Forget about the politicians. Even blog commenters with supposedly private lives live in the closet. One prominent blogger, who exhibits signs of being not-very-Anwar-friendly (ahem) has fallen victim to such cyber-abuse.

Two anonymous commenters (obviously cowards) have made some rather odd offers. "You back side is looking very attractive. Can I come in?" asks one. The other says, "U r hurtin' KT luvy? Come here, i give some manly-luv."

Distressing, indeed. They sound very repressed. Is this a result of our homophobic society?

Though I'm beginning to think this obsession is not limited to homosexuality. Remember the SD filed by the private investigator, the now-vanished-into-thin-air, Balasubramaniam Perumal?

Can you remember the contents of the SD beyond "susceptible to anal intercourse"? No?

I think it is time for us to do away with laws pertaining to what is defined as ‘unnatural sex’ in Malaysia. The state should not have a say in what people do in their personal life.


During one of my business trips when I was rained in, I took to watching the limited assortment of DVDs that the hotel offered. One of them was Bridget Jones' Diary.

Today, I suddenly recalled a conversation between two of the lead characters (who were in bed together):

Bridget Jones: Daniel, what you just did is actually illegal in several countries.
Daniel Cleaver: That is one of the reasons why I'm so happy to be living in Britain today.

Back then I got a faint chuckle out of it. But today I frowned and growled, "B!tches! They're talking about us!!"

In Malaysia, under Section 377A and 377B of the Penal Code, any person who has sexual relations with another involving the introduction of the penis into the anus or mouth, can be jailed up to 20 years and is also liable for whipping.

Ow. Some funky laws we have here.

But these laws, while necessary for keeping Anwar Ibrahim behind bars, have not exactly been applied in the case of Chua Soi Lek, who still roams free. Both are offenses under the Penal code.

Of course, the bias could be due to political reasons rather than the "offence" itself. Anwar Ibrahim is from PKR while Chua Soi Lek is conveniently MCA.

If you're still wondering who - yes, I'm referring to The Chua Soi Lek of the sex DVD fame, who has a blog called drchua9.blogspot.com (shouldn't that be 69, good doctor?) where he chides Anwar for refusing to give a DNA sample.

Gotta love the double standards.

Any Attempt To Fix Anwar

It's pretty obvious - all the government wants to do, is fix Anwar Ibrahim at any cost.


The Home Minister is proposing a bill to make refusing to give DNA samples illegal.

In the past, we have had heaps of criminals walk through our justice system. Many have refused to produce any samples for the court. Was there any motion in the court for that?

Anyone? No? I thought so.

But this time, Syed Hamid Albar is falling over himself to oil the "wheels of justice". All for poor, screwed Saiful Bukhari Azlan, you think?

What makes this 23-year-old sod so special that the "crime" perpetrated on his goodself merits a change in a bill of parliament to collect and provide the necessary evidence?

What makes him so special that he gets an audience with none other than the Deputy Prime Minister of Malaysia for personal advice about his "condition" before he makes a police report??

Is it about seeking justice for Saiful Bukhari Azlan, or is it about putting away Anwar Ibrahim?

Anwar Arrested!

They have made him a martyr, a superhero and a saint - all rolled into one.


Heck. Even Anwar Ibrahim himself could not have orchestrated it better.

The Barisan Nasional government is very systematically and imminently committing suicide.

Just after the highly-publicised debate on fuel subsidies yesterday, the silly roadblocks the day before and the fuel price protest the week before, public tension is high and you would think the government would tread carefully.

Very, very carefully. But no.

They didn't even give the man time to make an appearance at the police station. If Anwar had not showed up at 2pm, I would understand the need to arrest. They didn't even wait for the deadline.

About a dozen policemen, some of them wearing balaclavas, cordoned off the road leading to Anwar's house and stopped his car. Balaclavas are very Russian mafia. Did the police don them for special effect or to protect their own identities?

Some of the cars were marked and some were unmarked. Was there a necessity for the police to bring 10 cars to arrest one old, unarmed man with a bad back? Ironically, only today I wondered aloud what exactly it is that the Malaysian police do.

That wasn't all. They then bundled him into a police car with dark tinted windows before heading off for the HQ. Now the dark tinted windows remind me of the Sicilian mafia, bless their collective black hearts.

The damn fools went on to seal off roads to the police headquarters where Anwar had been brought, while a water cannon was on standby and a helicopter circled overhead.

And you thought last Monday's Gestapo-meets-Hamas type police presence was intimidating.

This beats most of the action-cum-thrillers in all its macabre violence that I've seen in Hollywood. Soderbergh, Kubrick, Tarantino, Ang Lee - time to pack up, you boys have been replaced!

Around the world, the major players in news publishing are furiously churning out articles and regular updates!

USA: Bloomberg, CNN, Wall Street Journal
France: International Herald Tribune
Qatar: Al-Jazeera
China: China Daily
UK: Times Online

How about our top news man? Raja Petra Kamaruddin of Malaysia Today has also been summoned to a police station where he is due to be charged for defamation.

They have great timing, don't they?

This is bound to inspire confidence in foreign investors. Have you seen today's stock market?

Political Credibility In Malaysia

All things considered, I think our political scene is dull.

Sure, our politicians tend to serve up quite a full-course, with a menu none can surpass.

For appetizers, we had sizzling snacks of C4, SD and PI. (Abbreviations are in vogue. Get with the programme.)

Then we were treated to a new brand of instant noodles called SodoMee which was unfortunately flung around, akin to how my classmates and I used to play with food in the school canteen - back in the 80s and 90s.

For dessert, we were treated to Turkish delight, which was a rather brief and simple affair, I must admit. I won't even get into the subject of Hershey's.

What any citizen wants and needs in its political candidates is credibility. But you and I know that our Malaysian politicians have completely lost it.

So we turn to our British counterparts, to seek direction on how to make a point about principle (something sorely lacking in the Malaysian political scene), to start with.

Now there's this dude called David Davis. He's a politician in Yorkshire, which is someplace in northern England where they have strange accents. I hear translators are absolutely essential for effective communication with the rest of the world.

Yorkshire is also known as God's Own County, for reasons probably best left unknown.

Mr Davis' parents really liked the letters D, A, V, I and S, for some reason. They also had limited creativity when it came to bestowing names upon their children. That, I regretfully inform you, is discussion for another day.

Today, I want to bring your attention to a simple but life-changing by-election in Yorkshire. David Davis was the incumbent but he resigned out of principle. Long story. The short version is, he is contesting for the same seat again.

If you thought it was merely a negligible by-election, you're wrong. Unfathomably wrong.

It's a tough fight indeed.

They have such excellent, well-thought-out party manifestos, and such memorably catchy names to go with it. It is about faith, ecology, psychology, and even pathology.

You would only have to listen to their manifestos to be struck by the gravity and profundity of life itself. For instance:

"If elected our candidate would like to see Cherie Blair detained indefinitely in a convent to stop her having sex with Tony and telling us all the boring details."

- Lord Biro of the Church of the Militant Elvis Party

How could you not support a party that is all for conservative morality? One that champions religious places like convents? One which has the words 'church' and 'militant' in the same sentence??

Then we have candidates with deep, soul-searching statements:

"Vote for insanity, you know it makes sense".

- Mad Cow-Girl of Monster Raving Loony Party

I was almost moved to tears. It sounded like a mission statement that Malaysians, collectively, would nod their heads and resolutely believe in.

Finally. Deep in the inner recesses of our mind, and in the very core of our hearts, we knew someone out there would understand us. Even if her name was Mad Cow-Girl.

The small by-election in Yorkshire has even brought out the scientific and intellectually superior individuals among us earthlings. For a thorough perspective on evolution and conspiracy, we have the Green Party.

No, they're not all about recycling.

But they have an intriguing spokesman with some fascinating views:

Earth is controlled by "reptilian humanoids", such as US President George W Bush and former Prime Minister Tony Blair.

- David Icke of the Green Party

He discovered in 1991 that he was the son of God. Unfortunately, there are some really nasty people out there who were skeptical of his brilliant prophesies.

His words of wisdom were sadly met with ridicule and derision. It was a trying time for him and he had to seek reclusion for a while.

If you have trouble believing in David Icke, open up your heart (not literally, please). Pick up a guitar. Sing a flower song. Refrain from having a shower for 37 days. Go live in a commune.

The truth shall set you free.

But Yorkshire, in spite of being God's Own County, has shown the finger to the son of God, the militant rock-n-roll church, and the mad-cow girl - though not necessarily in that order.

This morning, to my chagrin, the Grauniad announced that David Davis had claimed a "stunning victory".

I still hold the hope, fleeting as it is, that one day we will see the calibre of political candidates that the UK boasts.

Till then... we have sodomy.

The Truth Is Like Pink Bananas

When someone like Abdullah Ahmad Badawi claims that there are no threats against Anwar Ibrahim's life and that the government promises protection for him, there is only one suitable response that comes to mind:

Dude. Plug that hole.

And I'm referring to his mouth, and not the other end, lest you think I am suggesting he go get himself sodomised.

Though it wouldn't be a bad idea considering how sodomy has become so in vogue these days.

But I digress.

It astounds me that Pak Lah even bothers to declare assurances anymore. Everyone knows he lies as fluently as he snores.

Any occasion where Pak Lah utters the truth (even by accident) would be an occasion to celebrate. A moment to commemorate. Time to bring out the champagne and make a toast..

It would be as rare, unexpected, unbelievable - perhaps even confusing as, say ... pink bananas.


Now Pak Lah is either ignorant of the reputation he possesses, or in severe denial. I'd say the latter is a higher possibility.

It doesn't, however, stop him from getting offended when the USA stated that it would oppose any politically motivated investigation or prosecution against Anwar.

"The United States seems to harbour prejudice against us. The Government will not intervene in any investigation. The team carrying out the probe are professionals and they know their duties."

In your dreams. Liar.

There are no professionals left in the police force. The judiciary has its hands tied behind. This investigation is probably an exercise in futility.

I expect to see mattresses being brought to court again.

But Pak Lah cannot take the credit for being the biggest liar yet. Someone else takes the cake:

Malaysian deputy Prime Minister Najib Razak also assailed the American government for implying that the investigation could be biased.

"It is not politically motivated. The thought never even crossed our minds," he said.

I was still laughing 3 hours later.

As I said, the truth is like pink bananas.

Can We Attempt A More Creative Stunt?

I think this is proof enough for all of you out there that Anwar Ibrahim is straight.

Look at that face. Such a sweet, innocent, pretty little kitten.

As a woman, I couldn't have an impure thought about this particular fellow, Mohd Saiful Bukhari Azlan.

That would be so gay (no offense to LGBTs out there).

Mean jokes aside, someone out there must be seriously lacking in creativity by attempting to pull the same stunt twice.

I mean, really. Sodomy? That went out of fashion 10 years ago, along with mattress-touting, condo-surveillance and black-eyes.

Assume Anwar was indeed bi. Do you think he would really resort to messing with his personal aide when Lorong Haji Taib in Chow Kit is crawling with umm... shall we say, 'options'?

After all the publicity and rough treatment he went through in the hands of our politicians and their running dogs, the law enforcement?

To quote the most popular quote making its way around the Malaysian blogosphere (I've seen it on 5 blogs already):

The notion that a 61-year old with a bad back can forcibly sodomise a strapping 23-year old is laughable. This is simply not the kind of thing that anyone, not even Anwar’s harshest critic, is going to believe.

Makes sense, too.

I'm sure there must be someone out there who thinks Anwar is guilty of this, but I really haven't met that person yet.

My Australian colleague emailed me saying, "I see that bar1s@n na51onal is up to its old tricks again." We were using our company email accounts, hence the necessity for leet encryption.

Yep. I must admit my colleague is a very intelligent man with a reasonably good grasp of Malaysian politics (no thanks to yours truly!). But I don't think you need his IQ level to grasp the fact that BN is up to no good.

No one is fooled, really, though some are concerned - especially the tourists.

I have an American acquaintance working in China who had plans to stop by in Malaysia en route his travels through Singapore, Indonesia and Thailand.

Today he drops me an email. "I've been reading about your politics," he says. "Do I have cause for concern?"

These lame stunts have no role but to harm the tourism industry and tarnish the name of the Malaysian government.

But will they learn?

Anwar's Sodomy Charges

I have never really been an Anwar fan.

Perhaps I like some of our elected representatives from PKR, but I'm just a little wary of Anwar.

It, however, has nothing to do with sodomy charges - trumped up or otherwise.

They may be true, and if some bloggers were to be believed, it was apparently Karpal Singh who first brought Anwar's alleged shenanigans to the attention of then PM, Dr Mahathir.

But what anyone does consensually in private is none of my business, or yours. Not that it stops Malaysians from yearning for scandal.

And this voracious appetite of the public (for scandal) has the BN government ready and anxious to please. And why not?

Firstly, BN popularity is at its lowest levels. You wouldn't guess that from reading our tabloids (which pretend to be mainstream media) though.

But if you called someone an UMNO man, that's tantamount to calling him an illegitimate-son-of-a-cross-eyed-camel.

Secondly, Anwar appears to have been lobbying some of the BN MPs and the crossover may be imminent. I find this repelling and unethical, but it's the game of politics.

Thirdly, BN is more worried about the vote of no-confidence by SAPP than they let on. There have been threats of expulsion, and murmurs of disciplinary action, but nothing has come to pass, as yet.

Fourth, we have some serious issues internally. People who should not have been there, were found at the scene where Mongolian women were vapourised.

Fifth, our economy is just looking so bad. Fuel prices have gone up and the people are told to tighten their belts and adjust their lifestyles.

Meanwhile, our PM still has his private luxury jet, his 60-million ringgit mansion in Mosman Park, Australia, and that lovely yacht from Turkey.

Let's not forget that even in spite of our poor economy, Pak Lah et al still do not pass up a chance to slip their grubby fingers into our national coffers by offering cash rebates through Pos Malaysia Berhad instead of JPJ.

Wouldn't you want to create a diversion, were you guilty of those?