Stowaway Gets Through MAHB Security

You think it's going to be a quiet, uneventful evening at the airport except that disoriented stowaways end up falling all over your runway.

The poor boys at Changi.

They ought to know better if it's a flight coming from Malaysia.

Osama R.M. Shublaq (and you'd think he'd lie low with a name like that) snuck into the nose wheel crevice of the SIA flight SQ199 at KLIA and stunned the Changi Airport ground crew waiting to serve the aircraft, when he fell out from the Boeing 777-200.

I suppose those kind of occurences don't happen on a daily basis.

Osama was apparently dizzy due to a lack of oxygen. Yeah well. Heights can do that to you.

Apparently, the dude crawled from one of the drains in darkness to get to the aircraft at about 9pm on Thursday.

I figure the airport must have been sparsely staffed; every other security personnel off to balik kampung.

Osama was charged in a Singapore court on Friday with entering Singapore without a valid pass or permit. If convicted, he could be jailed for up to six months, caned three strokes or more, or fined up to 6,000 Singapore dollars.

Ouch. It ain't gonna be pretty.

Related:
MAHB Lodges Police Report On Stowaway Incident - Bernama

Additional Trains On Putraline LRT

Some good news about our public transport system, finally.

Looks like we're getting some new trains for either the Putraline or Starline.

From Reuters: Bombardier gets added $100 mln rail order from Malaysia

(Reuters) - Bombardier Inc. (BBDb.TO: Quote) said it, along with a Malaysian partner, received an additional order for 52 commuter trains valued at about $100 million from Malaysian state infrastructure firm Syarikat Prasarana Negara Berhad.

Syarikat Prasarana Negara Berhad is a 100% government-owned company which was set up to own STAR-LRT, Putra-LRT and Rapid-KL after deeming them as failed privatisation projects.

Bombardier's Malaysian partner is Hartasuma Sdn Bhd in case anyone was wondering.

This is interesting, because the Putraline, which is apparently the longest fully automated, driverless transit system in Asia, was initially due to receive 88 advanced rapid transit (ART) MK II cars - earliest in September 2008.

The original agreement included options for 52 additional cars, which has now obviously been taken. Should all options be exercised, the entire contract would total 140 cars.

That's a huge addition.

I wonder if this is only for the Putraline or if it extends to the STARline. It would obviously have to be a different configuration as the Putra is driverless, while the STAR is manned.

Watch Your Sons Too

Once upon a time, little children around the world were free to roam and play, knowing that at the end of the day, they will safely be tucked into a warm bed by their parents.

Once upon a time, Malaysia did not even comprehend the notion of sick people performing unnatural acts against children.

And one unfortunate day, it came to our very own backyards.

WE SIMPLY CANNOT LIVE IN DENIAL ANYMORE.


There are some really sick, demented people out there. And this docile, harmless looking man is one of them.

The man appears in around 200 photographs featuring abuse of 12 young boys, which investigators believe were taken in Vietnam and Cambodia, possibly in 2002 and 2003.

"For years, images of this man sexually abusing children have been circulating on the Internet," Interpol Secretary General Ronald Noble said.

"We have tried all other means to identify and to bring him to justice, but we are now convinced that without the public's help this sexual predator could continue to rape and sexually abuse young children whose ages appear to range from six to early teens."

Makes you wonder what kind of animal picks on 6 year olds.

So while parents keep a close eye on their daughters in view of the recent Nurin Jazlin case, the sons need equal attention.

No, Not Acting Out Of Envy

It is official.

I have logical myopia.

But only logical myopia, mind you. I can still see other objects clearly and this boy has the most dazzling smile I've seen in a long time. Damn!!

It appears that most Malaysians are divided in their opinion over this space programme.

Certain parties are delighted over the choice of candidate, in particular, X-Eyed Jules, who believes that his aesthetic qualities especially, should be milked.

Unfortunately because he is so good-looking some jealous souls have been cruel enough to spread rumours that the good doctor bats for the other side (I heard this from a 10 year old boy, believe it or not)..

..Imagine if a foreign female has never met a Malaysian male before (and doesn't know any 10-year old Malaysians) and she sees DSM’s mug on the NASA website. Wouldn’t that provide a wonderful first impression?..

.. I could already see the Tourism Minister planning a campaign to woo shallow female tourists to Malaysia on the back of DSM’s fame.

Then again, X-Eyed Jules cannot be accused of being myopic; he is already cross-eyed anyway. :)

Then there are those die-hard fans of the space programme who accuse their opponents of "acting out of pure envy".

If I was consumed with pure envy, I would say pretty boy is gay. But I don't think he is, and wouldn't care if he was (I don't stand a chance anyway!).

But again, I'm still more concerned with the purpose and outcome of this whole programme which is costing us a bomb.

I do wonder. Are we really expected to be proud of our "astronauts" when they have not done anything exceptionally spectacular beyond donning a space-suit? Malaysia Boleh? Boleh apa? Pakai baju?

A Voice says, "This is our first trip up and its not our space craft. Before we run, shouldn't we learn to walk."

This is not learning to walk, much less run. This is being carried, which serves no purpose whatsoever.

Let's look at the definition of ASTRONAUT:

An astronaut or cosmonaut (Russian) is a person trained by a human spaceflight program to command, pilot, or serve as a crew member of a spacecraft.

Until 2003, astronauts were sponsored and trained exclusively by governments, either by the military, or by civilian space agencies. However, with the first sub-orbital flight of the privately-funded SpaceShipOne in 2004, a new category of astronaut was created: the commercial astronaut. With the rise of space tourism, NASA and the Russian Federal Space Agency agreed to use the term "spaceflight participant" to distinguish those space travelers from astronauts on missions coordinated by those two agencies.


Astronaut Candidacy requirements
-------------------------------------------------

Pass a strict physical examination, and have a distant visual acuity no greater than 20/50 uncorrected, correctable to 20/20. Blood pressure, while sitting, must be no greater than 140 over 90.

Commander and Pilot
Bachelor's degree in engineering, biological science, physical science or mathematics is required, and a graduate degree is desired, although not essential.
At least l,000 hours flying time in jet aircraft, and experience as a test pilot is desirable.
Height must be 64 inches (5.33 ft) to 76 inches (6.33 ft).

Mission Specialist
Bachelor's degree in engineering, biological science, physical science or mathematics, as well as at least three years of related professional experience.
Applicant's height must be 62 inches (5.17 ft) to 76 inches (6.33 ft).

Now engineers are highly boring individuals. No one really makes movies or dramas about us. The only field we seem to excel in is in aerospace, and even that is a highly competitive field.

Trust me, I know. At the risk of exposing my identity and/or blogging about work, I have a degree in Aerospace Engineering, majoring in Aeronautics and minoring in Astronautics.

And even I have no business being up in space. I'm just not qualified. Period.

Assuming I was born in the USA and had a fighting chance, I only have a bachelor's degree and no experience in the armed forces, which seems to be an unspoken requirement.

Those of you who remember Lisa Nowak, who gained brief notoriety for her diaper and stalking fiasco, will know that she received a BS degree in aerospace engineering from the U.S. Naval Academy in 1985. Nowak received an MS degree in aeronautical engineering and a degree in aeronautical and astronautical engineering in 1992 from the U.S. Naval Postgraduate School.

Nowak received her commission from the U.S. Navy in 1985 and became a naval flight officer in 1987. After her postgraduate studies Nowak entered Aerospace Engineering Duty and the U.S. Naval Test Pilot School. She has logged over 1,500 hours of flight in over 30 different aircraft during her career in the Navy, and has obtained the rank of captain.

Now that's an astronaut - cuckoo or not. How does our jaguh kampung compare?

Still glorified baggage, I'm afraid.

EU And Malaysian Ethnic Policies

I was revisiting some old issues which cropped up some months ago and I found some quotable quotes. :)

In Malaysian trade minister slams EU envoy's view on ethnic policies on EU business, Rafidah exhibits the foot-in-mouth disease.

EU ambassador Thierry Rommel had said Malaysia's attraction to foreign investment had weakened because of the education and economic policies favouring bumiputras at the expense of other groups.

Rafidah's responses:

"Mr Rommel doesn't know Malaysia or he has not bothered to find out."

And have you, ma'am?

"... He has always had this problem with his attitude," Rafidah told an audience of industry leaders and diplomats.

Now, now. Getting personal, are we? You seem to have quite a bit of an attitude problem yourself, ma'am.

"I would like to dismiss Mr Rommel's views. It is totally unwarranted. He really raised my blood pressure quite high," Rafidah said.

Blood pressure? I think we have more of an interest in the country's economy than in your blood pressure, ma'am. If you don't mind.

The HUGE Contribution To Space!!

So I happened to be browsing through The Mobster's site, which you REALLY don't know what you're missing if you've never dropped by. You poor, deprived individual, you. Go deprive thyself no more.

Anyway, there seems to be this HUGE debate as to the validity of Mob's choice of words in describing our jaguh kampung aka angkasawan.

Apparently the word "faggot" offended the sensitive ears of certain readers who felt the pretty boy doctor did not DESERVE to be maligned as such since he was selected by the government!

Yeah well, cry me a river.

I just LOVE Mob's response:

..let me reiterate the Space Participant knew about the glorified publicity stunt for Barisan Najis at the cost of tax payers' money all along. For my contribution of tax money, I can call his ass anything I want, dude. You can call him 'Angkasawan', I call him Instellar Numb Nut. ;)

You tell 'em, Mob!

Don't tell me Malaysians in general are so stupid to think that being an astronaut revolves solely around wearing a bloody space suit and getting launched into space.

At least there is hope for ONE Malaysian - Mob gets it right when he says:

Real astronauts spend their entire lives preparing for these moments and behind them are hundreds and thousands of engineers, technicians, ground support, crew and etc backing him/her up for the flight.

EXACTLY!!

And I don't give a rat's ass to what the Russians say. They're benefitting from Malaysian gross stupidity. I would think there is someone smooth enough to do the PR thingy. And yes, apparently, there's the fluent Bahasa Indonesia-speaking diplomat in the form of Alexander Karchava.

The Star has taken up the task of making us feel better about our money going down the drain.

Russian ambassador to Malaysia, Karchava claims that the, "..Angkasawan had an important job to do, carrying out vital scientific experiments to benefit Malaysia and the world."

Pray. Tell us stupid citizens what those "vital scientific experiments" may be. Surely it does not involve tea or dough? Or kid's games?

International Day of Non-Violence

The United Nations General Assembly today decided to observe the International Day of Non-Violence each year on 2 October – the birth anniversary of Mahatma Gandhi, who helped lead India to independence and inspired movements for civil rights and freedom across the world.

Non-violence.

It should apply to Malaysian police, for starters.

Beyonce Shows Malaysia The Finger

And rightfully so.

If we want to have foreign artistes in our shores, we have no bloody right to set up a dress code for them.

And so I went through the trouble of finding the sexiest shot I could find of her. Great body, methinks. :)

BBC states that the official guidelines about performances in Malaysia require female artists to cover up from the top of the chest to the knees. Performers are also forbidden from jumping, shouting or embracing members of the audience.

Now that sounds a little sensationalised, but BBC could probably get away with it because we do and say stupid things anyway. So what's a bit of embellished news to us?

But I still cannot fathom why Gwen Stefani adhered to those dress codes. She didn't have to.

Activists had earlier called for her gig to be cancelled, owing to "fears" that her raunchy costumes could "corrupt" the country's youth.

For the information of those activists in question, the country's youth is ALREADY corrupted. Please refer to all those home videos of girls flinging off their tudungs in parks to do the horizontal tango with their boyfriends. It should be evidence enough.

And I doubt those moves were taught by raunchy western foreign artistes with "low moral values".

Do you have any idea what the top internet keyword search in Kelantan and Terengganu is? Gambar bogel.

So don't preach to me about tainting the minds of impressionable youth.

More Bathroom Humour

Remember the first time the toilet campaign was unveiled with pizzazz and great ceremony, much to the embarrassment of a number of Malaysians?

Now that the hype is over, it appears we've decided to get down and dirty - to set up a squad ensuring our toilets STAY clean. A gargantuan feat, in my opinion. And I certainly don't envy whoever's been tasked with snooping for ... nevermind.

AdelaideNow is having fun with a piece written about our 'toilet squad' - in fact, too much fun with puns.


I can't decide if "co-insides" was deliberate or not.

The creeps. :)

What Astronaut???

Malaysians have a penchant for self-aggrandization, but this one takes the cake.

We kick-started the publicity by completely humiliating ourselves with plans to play batu-seremban and gasing, in addition to making roti canai and teh tarik in space.

Common sense (or a not-so-gentle rebuke) took over and some benign samples might possibly make their ascent to space with Dr Sheikh Muszaphar Shukor, Malaysia's first spaceflight participant.


Yep, you read right. It's spaceflight participant. NOT astronaut. Get it right people, and save yourselves the embarrassment later.

You DO know that 'spaceflight participant' is a fancy term for space tourist, don't you?

At least we got the "First Malaysian" part right. We can't rightfully claim to have sent any living thing up there, not even a chimp, or orangutan.

But judging from the number of official ceremony helium-balloon-releasing activity we indulge in, we may be held accountable for some space debris.

Sean-the-man is a little more brutal, as he refers to our local hero as "baggage". :)

He's not far from the truth. Let me give you an example:

Let's say you and your three friends decide to head from KL up to Penang for the weekend. The toll and fuel costs are bound to have you wincing even if you split by four.

So against your better judgement you agree to let the friend of a friend join you. Help reduce costs and all.

For the sake of simplicity, let's call her Girlfriend.

So you all meet up on Friday evening, when you realise that Girlfriend has decided to bring 32 pairs of shoes on the journey.

"But why?" you groan.

"Because I can't decide which one I'll want to wear," she explains sweetly, all full of logic.

So you cram everyone else's luggage into a quarter of the car boot, while Girlfriend occupies the other three-quarters. But heck, she's helping foot the bill, remember?

And in our case, a billion-dollar purchase of 18 Sukhoi 30-MKM fighter jets.

Our Malaysian Astrocannot - Sean Tang